Do you ever get the feeling that you're just lost or you just don't know half the shit you did months ago, things change and that's what's scary to me..
Change is like my second biggest fear apart from the dark haha, and I just can't function properly when somethings changed. I'm very set in my ways so I like things to be in a particular order all the time or else I'll literally have some type of breakdown, it's scary.
The thing that really scares me about change is that no matter how far you are in life, no matter how good your relationships with people are, things are always ALWAYS going to change some how or other. Whether that means they'd like to get more serious or they don't wanna be with you anymore. It's all change and I hate it.
I know I always tell you guys to always take yourselves outta your comfort zone an shit but I'm gonna be honest, that's the place I feel the safest and I know most of you will agree. It's like my own little safe haven, if I don't have friends they can't hurt or fucking betray you, and if I keep myself isolated to the best of my ability then maybe just maybe I'll start to find some sorta inner peace and what not.
I want to be able to trust people again, but not the trust that's there but you know they're snakey as fuck, I want honesty in every aspect of my life and not many people can give me that, I mean it's not really that much to ask for now, is it?
Before I end this post I'd just like to say a little something to every single one of you who reads this blog on a daily or whatever time period, when I started writing this I really never expected it to get this far to be quite honest. I didn't expect people to actually read it let alone keep reading it!! It's a scary process writing all your feelings an thoughts down for basically strangers to read but I like doing it, I like knowing that somewhere in this world there's someone that's read this blog and I've helped them in some way, it's just a really epic feeling.
Always try your best to help someone because you never know when you'll be needing someone's help..
Ox.
