I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd achieve or be able to achieve everything I have with this blog. I'm at a realisation that I can and will proceed to attempt to conquer the world.. I genuinely feel like crying right now because of my experiences I can try and help other people that have or that are going through this right now and it's the most empowering feeling in the world knowing you've really helped someone in need.
When I was getting bullied, I wanted absolutely noone to know because they'd know I was weak and couldn't speak my mind when I used to always be able too, I decided to think 'Fuck it'.
-Fuck Bullies
-Fuck all the people who ever doubted this blog
-Fuck all the teachers that said I wouldn't make it
And most of all FUCK my english teacher that said I didn't have a good writing style.
4000+ people have read and shared this blog, I always write personally to you all because even if you don't want to talk to anybody about how you're feeling or what's going through your head, you can always know that there's people out there that have suffered with this and still continue to fight everyday, you may be struggling to get outta bed, or even shower, every meal you eat you have no motivation to finish it and you don't want to look in mirrors because you'll see how shit you look. I want YOU all to know that baby I still feel like this and I have more bad days than good but when I do have a good day I revel in it because I don't know how long it's actually going to last, so whenever you do have a good day push yourself to do one thing you wouldn't normally do, like go take a walk or get dressed!!
Always no matter what start with baby steps because you don't want to get too ahead of yourself, I remember I'd started having way more good days so I thought I could start going into classes and start doing school full time but eventually it all got too much for me and I broke down, I couldn't take going into school anymore and I couldn't handle getting dressed or stepping foot out of my bed.
The phrase 'lost the will to live' became all too familiar for me and although I didn't harm myself or commit suicide, starving myself was my way of slowly ending it, if the people around me saw how bad I got then they'd let me give up {Which may I just add, they never did.}
I want you all to know that all of your dreams can be possible, please PLEASE never underestimate yourselves because of mental illness, it's held be back for so long but I'm not letting it stop me anymore. Writing is my dream and we've now reached 4000+ views on my blog, my dream is slowly becoming a reality and I can't wait to see how big this becomes.
ThankYOU for always sharing and reading, thankYOU for realising I'm a human and making me realise I deserve more than I give myself credit for. ThankYOU for everything.
Please keep sharing and as always if you ever want to talk - livnizzzle@gmail.com I'll reply as quick as possible!!
I'm thankful. I created an instagram specifically for this blog so if you have an insta and would like to follow it it's living_with_a_mental_illness - please check it out!!
Ox.
