I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I feel a sense of loss and I'm not even sure what I've lost yet, I feel pained. Like when you feel really sad you get this weird thing with your throat like your choking but you aren't and it hurts, that's real emotion coming out when words can't do shit.
I want to just detach myself from everything and everyone, I'm feeling trapped inside my head and it's probably the shittiest place to be trapped, damn I'd much rather be trapped with spiders in the dark than this bullshit.
This is definitely a bad day.
Anxiety and mental illness strike once everything's settled and you're actually feeling okay for the first time in fucking decades, I'm so fucking lost, I can't even begin to explain to you guys.
Literally, my last post said about feeling like you just don't know anything anymore, it mixes into this so so well. I don't know anything and I hate it. I've always felt like I needed to have a little bit of control over something and I've got no control over this, and it couldn't be more horrific if it tried.
Ox.
