///

you are 

the reason

i check my phone in the morning 

your words flow through me 

like blood through my veins 

all the words you say

float above your head like clouds 

in the sky 

as sincere as your words seem

there is always that

''what if''

''what if'''

 this isnt real

this isnt real

this isnt real

your smile aches my already

broken heart

broken mind

broken soul

you say you cannot help the stuff you do

but i cant help being broken

im an old soul thats been

battered and bruised 

the ego that you carry around 

is heavier than you love 

you say you have for me

i stay awake for hours 

hoping youll say the words 

i long to hear 

i long to see the fight you have

for your friends

the loyalty

the respect

i long to be the person that you 

cant go a day without talking to

i long to see the fight in you

when i say im done

i want you to pick all the pieces 

of me back up and 

put them all back 

together again

living with anxiety is 

like living permanently in a 

well

you cant get out 

no one can hear you

youre trapped

alone

even when people look down at this well

all they see is the shadows of the 

curves of your body

living with depression

a permanent look into the 

abyss

a black hole

that just sucks

you in

inescapable 

the fight you once had 

suddenly evaporates 

and then

its gone